A Few Introverted Weeks

Weeks like these last ones make me long for one of two things -- either the long-passed days when people did not talk about religion, politics, or controversy outside their very close circle of friends, or the days when I would play in my backyard sandbox, completely oblivious to the happenings in the outside world. Neither seems to be an option now.

Issues in my country these last weeks have come to the surface which have opened a conversation, albeit a controversial one, and one which many people feel very passionately. Both sides of the issue voice their views, sometimes loudly, sometimes hurtfully, sometimes saddened, sometimes disheartened. Like so many discussions held in recent years, those speaking only wish to be heard while those listening only wish to reply. We end up speaking at each other rather than to each other, and the voices just become a wave of drowning noise. In these living room or office debates, the introvert slips away in the ever-present wish to avoid controversy. 

If we amplify everything, we hear nothing. -- Jon Stewart

This introvert turns to the page, the only place I feel I can finish a thought without interruption. I realize I do not hold the same views as many people I see every day. That is okay. If everyone were the same, the world would be boring. However, I do not believe any debate should include disrespect, anger, hatred, or pain. I do not know how to resolve these issues, but I know anger never solved anything, and I know the only person I can control is myself.

I found comfort in the words of Elizabeth Duvivier this week when she wrote what I had been trying to express but couldn't. Her post Why Each of Us reminds me that change starts inside. Change starts by releasing anger and cultivating a kind spirit. That change starts within each of us. Within me.

This may cause a change in some of my relationships since my introverted self often became quiet during prickly conversations with friends, and that quietness may have been interpreted as tacit agreement. I cannot do it anymore. Carrying the unsaid words has become too burdensome. Though I chose not to be disrespectful to one with an opposing view, I also expect the same in return. So, if you see me walk away, you will know why. I would rather walk away from the conversation and walk in peace, than stay and be surrounded by disrespect.

An interesting observation from conversations of the last several weeks on this very subject of our national turmoil: while dozens of people voiced their opinions to me in varying degrees of passion on the subject, not one person asked my opinion. Not one. That speaks volumes.

I have tried to stay away from anything remotely controversial with this weblog, but this week, my heart was just too heavy with these thoughts. I had to release them. Though I do not expect everyone to agree with me -- far from it -- we can have a conversation. I promise to respect your views, allow you to finish a thought, and listen to understand. I also expect the same. There will be no room in our conversation for anything else.

Follow my blog with Bloglovin